Small Talk
by Romantique
Summary: A truly impossible conversation takes place between two people who have Luke and Lorelai in common. Written for the final TWoP Ficathon challenge.


"Small Talk" by Romantique

"Hey, is this seat taken?"

"No. Go ahead."

"Nice weather, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Listen, I'm sorry, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Uh..."

"No, sorry, never mind. You must think I'm some sort of creep trying hit on you. I'm not. I just couldn't help but notice the way you were looking at that couple there."

"Oh? How did I look?"

"Honestly? You looked kinda like me. Wait, let me explain. You know them?"

"Yeah, I know them. I happened to be married to him once upon a time."

"You were? I didn't know he was married."

"Heh, well, neither did he. Anyway, it didn't work out, it wasn't meant to be."

"I don't really know Luke that well, except for what my daughter tells me. You see, she's the mother of my daughter."

"Oh, so you're Rory's dad."

"Yeah."

"Luke's mentioned you. I don't think he likes you very much."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

"So...you need to explain what you meant before. I 'looked' like you?"

"Well, not literally. It was just the look on your face."

"You're going to have elaborate just a little bit more."

"You were looking at them like you were happy that they were happy, and that you surprised yourself by feeling this way."

"Wow, you saw all that in one look?"

"Was I right?"

"Actually, yes."

"They do look happy."

"Yeah."

"I don't think I ever really made her that happy. We had fun times and well, Rory, she's the best thing that came out of our relationship. But still...

"Still, you think that you missed out somehow."

"Exactly."

"I really thought Luke and I had something special, that we connected so well. He was so different from anyone I'd ever dated before. He never pretended to be anybody. He was always brutally honest and I think that's what first attracted me to him."

"Yeah? You know, I think that's why Lor and I hit it off so well. She would always call me on my bullshit and somehow still like me anyway. And she was so different from all the other girls who tried too hard to make me like them. I always felt I could be myself with her. And yet—"

"What?"

When I'd try to do the same with her, you know, call _her_ on her bullshit, she couldn't take it...she'd put up this wall. And when she got pregnant, that wall got bigger and more impossible to overcome."

"So you guys never got married?"

"I wanted to at first, and that's what her parents wanted, but she would have none of it. Looking back, it was probably the most mature decision to make at the time, as if she somehow knew already that us getting married would be the worst thing to do. I wasn't ready to be a father and husband and she totally picked up on that when I couldn't. But for years, I resented her for making that decision without me, that I was shortchanged somehow out of having a proper family."

"A family you weren't ready for?"

"I didn't have a clue what I was in for. I think I always wanted Lorelai to be in my life, though. I just didn't plan for everything to happen like this. Neither of us did. And we had – I mean, I thought I had this second chance to make things right, and then Sherry told me she was pregnant."

"Sherry? You sure do get around."

"No, this was more recent...just a few years ago. I just didn't want to make the same mistake with Sherry that I made with Lorelai."

"Funny the way life turns out, huh?"

"You're telling me. Not that I've ever really planned my life out. I'm more of a spontaneous kind of guy."

"Well, that's obvious enough, no offense. I'd always been this planner, you know? Every single moment was deliberated and organized to the point where I could almost predict what would happen if I did something or didn't do something. God, I even had a detailed five-year plan! When Luke came along, I almost forgot that entire plan ever existed. We'd only known each other for a few months when we got married on a cruise ship."

"How romantic."

"It _was_ romantic. We were surrounded by romance – old couples, new couples were everywhere, you couldn't escape it. And it was my doing, all my fault we got married so fast. I knew that Luke couldn't say no to me."

"Really? You proposed?"

"I think I did. We were both a little wasted. You know how champagne gets you drunker faster than anything?"

"Yeah, I think a lot of alcohol had to do with Rory getting conceived."

"So there we were, drunk on a cruise ship full of lovey-dovey couples all around us, telling us we looked perfect together. How could we resist? The captain married us, and the rest of the cruise was this dream of a honeymoon. Who could ask for anything more, right? We had the rest of our lives ahead of us."

"So what happened? Did you pull a Britney and get the whole thing annulled when you got to dry land?"

"As soon as we disembarked, we started to fight. We forgot all about the romance and had to face the reality of what we'd done. We were married, and now we had to figure out how to make our separate lives fit into this one life we'd just promised each other. So naturally, we started divorce proceedings."

"Naturally."

"And I guess I had a change of heart. I didn't want to let go of Luke so easily. At that point in my life, he was the only thing that made sense, the only person I could count on. There I was, trying desperately everyday to prove to my male colleagues that I was as good a lawyer, if not a better lawyer...Luke was the only male who respected me, really got me, you know? So I thought we deserved a second chance to get back to when we were good together. There was just one thing."

"Ah, the rub."

"It turned out he wasn't in love with me anymore. I used to put all the blame on him, that he made the decision to stay in this relationship and that had to count for something, right? But then again, I didn't let myself see what was there all along. That he wasn't ever really present in our relationship. He was always somewhere else."

"With her."

"Right. God, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to go on and on like this. It's so easy to talk to you, are you some kind of therapist?"

"Ha, I wish! Maybe I wouldn't have screwed up my life so much."

"That bad, huh?"

"I used to think that Lorelai's the one who got away, the one I could have been happy with, if only I hadn't messed everything up. The perfect woman for me."

"Tall order."

"And how. But it was all an excuse to make me feel better about my mistakes. And I've made a ton of them."

"Haven't we all? But really, I'm sorry to unload on you like this."

"It's okay. Really. I unloaded a little on you too, didn't I?"

"I guess so. So what are you doing here? Crashing the party?"

"Actually, I was invited. You?"

"I was invited too. I ran into Lorelai in Hartford, and we had a nice talk about everything. She then insisted that I come."

"I think that I probably owe my daughter for the invitation. But things are better now. I think it helps that she's happy now and no longer needs to be mad at me."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. It really is good to see him happy. I wasn't sure how I'd feel, but what you said before was right – I _am_ surprised to be happy he's happy."

"When I came here, I never expected to have a conversation like this."

"Neither did I."

"Hey, you guys! What are you doing all the way over here? Come on, Chris, Nicole, you're missing everything." 


End file.
